Categories
2020 Life

Two Masks

The question gets asked often enough, “How are you doing?”, but unlike pre-COVID-19 and pre-George Floyd it carries a sincerity and weight that it rarely has before. In some ways the asker already knows the askees answer. Things aren’t great, but I still say “I’m doing fine.”

And while the answer is an honest one, I am doing fine, relatively speaking. I’m not worried about where my next meal is coming from or whether I’ll have a roof over my head in the coming months. And while my income isn’t what I want it to be the money is trickling in.

So “doing fine” is an honest answer I’m not sure it’s an accurate one. While talking to a friend/client last Thursday it occurred to me that maybe I’m just getting used to it. That we are getting used to it. Every time I hear someone say “the new normal” I cringe a bit, but I’ve got a peculiar relationship with words and language.

We’ve all been carrying more weight than we’re used to. And just when we need our friends and families to be close we’re more isolated than we ever have been. I’ve practically been prepping for social isolation most of my adult life. But when I dig a bit and rummage around my head and heart I realize that this just isn’t what “doing fine” feels like. I’ve never wanted to be this isolated. Maybe because it doesn’t feel like a choice anymore. Maybe I never realized the value of those little interactions with people, strangers and friends alike, at coffee shops, the store, on the street.

I’ll keep practicing my gratitude, and sitting on my zafu, and working on my websites and taking dad out hoping that one day we’ll get back to normal. We have to, right?

I’d like to see my friends. I’d like to take off my masks: the one I put on each time I go to the grocery store and the one I didn’t even realize I was wearing every time I tell someone that “I’m doing fine”.

Categories
Business Web Development WordPress

New Website Coming

I’m currently working on a new website for my freelancing business that will live here.

For both professional and personal reasons I decided to move on after 2 years an agency to do my own thing. I may explore some of these reasons in blog posts in the future, but my primary reasons are to have more autonomy and to take care of my father.

Those that have known me for some time know that my father’s health has been in decline for several years. As that’s happened I’ve felt the need to be there for him more. With the coming of COVID-19 that needs become even more paramount.

I’m excited about what the future’s going to bring. As always becoming a better developer and person are my primary goals. I’ve got a few projects currently under way and some other opportunities coming up.

If you’re looking for a new website or to work with me please reach out. I’m about a month out from being able to take on new projects, but if you can wait I’d love to talk and see if we’re a good fit.

While I finish my current round of projects I’ll also be working on my new website. If you’re interested in being updated when that happens please contact me.

Good luck, I hope you and your friends and family are safe and healthy in these very uncertain times.

Ryan

Categories
(re)Education Racism

Come Through with Rebecca Carroll

Rebecca Carroll is a cultural critic. Read more about her at her website.

I was turned on to her website ‘Come Through’ over the weekend. I binge listened and hope you do too.

If you’re a person of color this will probably resonate with you.

If you’re a white person please listen. Be prepared to be inspired, horrified and very uncomfortable. Pay attention to those emotions. They’re telling you a lot. The discomfort will probably make you defensive. Please sit with that and ask yourself why.

Come Through with Rebecca Carroll

Categories
Racism

Things Need to Change

My apologies for this hastily written post. My initial goal in launching this blog was a place to work my writing chops. I clearly need it. But with everything going on after the senseless and horrific murder of George Floyd my priorities have changed. If you’re a white person and the COVID-19 situation hasn’t left you wondering where your next meal is coming from or where you’re going to spend the night please seize this opportunity to change yours as well.

This is directed to all white people, regardless of religious or political affiliation: we are part of the problem. We can no longer rest on the privilege that the color of our skin has afforded us. Until people of color in the United States of America are treated with the dignity and respect they deserve none of us are free.

To wash the blood off our hands born of our nation’s “original sin” requires reflection on how we as individuals are contributing to a racist and corrupt system.

I’m no innocent in this either. Over the years I’ve come to realize that where I’m at isn’t due to something special about me, but that I, as a white american was born halfway up the ladder that people of color are barely allowed to hold on to.

It’s up to me, and you as a white person, to really reflect on our role in the current state of affairs. Whether it’s through the active subjugation of people of color or just our silence and complaisance.

Resources

Over the past few days I’ve been compiling resources for myself. I figured I’d share. To be clear: I’m not even close to an expert in these matters. But we all have to start somewhere.

This isn’t even close to an exhaustive list and I’ll update when I can. Again, I’m not an expert in this and if you’re computer savvy you’ll be able to find plenty of resources. But if you’re not, or you’re time crunched, please start here and help.

Books

White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide by Carol Anderson

Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad

Donate

NAACP ( donate link in the header )

Know Your Rights Camp ( Colin Kaepernick affiliated )